Feeling broken...

i just suddenly got the feeling.. that i wanna vomit.. i feel sick.

deleted every picture.. deleted every memory in hopes of feeling better. well you know what? i do feel better, but not as much as i hoped for..

my head is full of questions, and every single one of them starts with 'why?'

why? why? why? why? why?

i want to ask, but i really don't wanna know the answers... if i think of anything related to this, my eyes start burning and i want to puke..

i have never felt this bad, and i feel so weak and disappointed in myself. 

"i'm sorry.. are you still friends?"

"i don't want to be..."

i don't know how to express myself in a normal way. i just feel sad, angry and so resentful.. why, wasn't i given any 'heads up' before all of this?

but there is nothing i can do anymore. my heart isn't broken. i wont break so easily, even tho' it hurts.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ever being a bitch. I'm sorry if i ever made fun of you. I'm sorry for not being the one you could talk to... And I'm sorry if i wasn't trust worthy..

i guess all i really wanted to say is.. EVEN THO' I MIGHT HATE YOU, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME BACK. 

writing all this down, made me feel so much better. most of the weight is gone, and i 'can breathe' again.

time heals everything, right?

thank you.